Santorum Attacks Gingrich's Wild Moon Fantasies

Illustration for article titled Santorum Attacks Gingrichs Wild Moon Fantasies

Guy-who-won't-win Rick Santorum has a new weapon in his arsenal against Space Admiral Newt Gingrich: a radio attack ad damning Newt's moon base as financially irresponsible. The moon base is this election's pivotal issue—is the dream dead?

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In addition to regular insanity, the ad blasts Newt's space vision as "fiscal insanity," citing a $500 billion price tag and a lot of self-evidently crazy talk about lunar statehood. Santorum, on the other hand, "opposed all of the bailouts"—and we all know a Space State would need a lot of bailing out, once the Rock Digging Robots tried to unionize and Dust Lung caused clamoring for moon-wide health care.

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But laugh all you want, Rick—once the gays have taken over earth, what else will we do but point our heads skyward and wish there were a 51st state up there waiting for us? [Rick Santorum]

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DISCUSSION

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Just $500 Billion? That's a fucking steal. Sign me up!

The Pentagon's 2010 budget was $683.7 billion. Strategic cuts = FUCKING MOONBASE!