The internet was created for us to easily express our contempt and malice. We love to hate people, and the internet makes it easy to do so without wearing pants. A prime target? Videos. Here are the most loathed ever.
Rick Perry has recently made headlines for something other than being a simpleton and unconfirmed drunk—his campaign video is going viral! Viral in the bad way, like herpes all over your face and neck. But he's just the most recent initiate in a long history of YouTube lynch mobs. Let's celebrate the best of the worst.
Over two million people have deliberately clicked to say that they dislike this. Two million. It's pretty easy to pile on to Justin Bieber—he's richer and probably having more sex at his tender age than any of us. Does he really deserve scorn on the scale of a total war? Maybe for the hair. But tweens need something to scream about, lest they run amok and start destroying infrastructure. Bieber fulfills that role for our society. And yet, the hair, and his whole dipshit cool guy routine. Here's to three million.
The black horse of internet culture, Rebecca Black seems to polarize humans into the "so awful it's amazing" and "so awful it's awful" camps. It's definitely "awful," in that it's a horrendously produced video—and this alone has raked in 256,999 dislikes after it was pulled and re-uploaded this fall. Had it coasted on its original tsunami of shit-talk, it would probably in the tens of millions by now. We'll never know. Instead, Rebecca has faded out of the public eye, retiring her role as internet whipping girl, probably at the mall buying a Razor Scooter right now or something.
The video that ruined a life! Jessi Slaughter, the trash talkin', swear hurlin', internet rebel of platonic heights, was an 11-year-old so objectionable that she actually made a very large part of the internet think it was okay to constantly harass an 11-year-old. 4chan got on the case, and shortly thereafter Jessi's existence fell apart under a torrent of threats, mockery, abuse, and general 4chan sleaziness. Sure, she's an obnoxious little shit, but so are most 11-year-olds, with or without a webcam. Slaughter now lives in foster care, and her father, who hit her in the mouth, is dead. The re-uploads sit as monuments to her brief flash as the most detested child on the planet.
Now this is a lot easier to justify! Rick Perry's desperate grasp for attention as he's flushed down the GOP nomination hole is worth hating. It confusingly disparages gays in the military, and draws some bizarre opposition to our country's poor children, who allegedly are not allowed to openly celebrate Christmas. That last part is news to me. The hateful, insipid rambling is a black hole of loathing, currently sitting pretty at 435,000 dislikes after just three days. At least he was sober in this one!
Speaking of tsunamis, hey, this lady's sure fucking insane! With a video that's so crazy you might be tempted to think it's a viral ad for Wheat Thins or something, GOD IS SO GOOD celebrates the Japanese earthquake and resultant tsunami disaster as a message to atheists. "It's so amazing that God can answer prayers like this," she smiles, horselike. After this obviously resulted in wide outrage, she admitted it was all just a fun bit of "trolling." Religious fanatic or troll: fuck you. The original video is gone, but the ratio of dislikes on subsequent uploads reflects this tanktop imbecile just fine.