The Stoner Channel: What You Need to Make "I'm Sorry Officer, I Didn't Know I Couldn't Do That" Actually Work

How to Not Get Arrested for Smoking Weed

While American tokers may only have about a 1-in-34 chance of getting nabbed by The Man, over 800,000 people are nonetheless popped annually. And with the latest rounds of Federal crackdowns on legal dispensaries, those numbers are only going to increase. Luckily, as long as you can pass for a white, middle-aged CPA, these handy tips from Salon Magazine will help you avoid joining that statistic. [Salon]

Illustration for article titled The Stoner Channel: What You Need to Make Im Sorry Officer, I Didnt Know I Couldnt Do That Actually Work

If You're Going to Do Acid, You Might as Well Live-Tweet Your Trip

You know, for a guy trippin' balls on LSD, Gary Debussey's still more intelligible than a large portion of my Twitter feed. Seriously, he makes some very valid and compelling points about the need for self-confident limousines. [The Atlantic - Image: VG Cats - YOU READ NOW]

Art Blakey's Jazz Messengers - Leverkusen Jazz Fest Oct. 9 1989

This is how you throw a 70th birthday party for a jazz legend.

Illustration for article titled The Stoner Channel: What You Need to Make Im Sorry Officer, I Didnt Know I Couldnt Do That Actually Work
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Weed Is Back on the Black Market—And Bigger Than Ever—Thanks to Federal Dispensary Crackdown

"It's too late!" he bellows. "The genie is out of the bottle. A huge demand has been created. It's back to the underground. Anyone who is smart is just going to take it back to the streets." [SFGate]

Teach Your Children About Good Marijuana

Smoking dirt weed is simply unnecessary now in the 21st Century and it's your responsibility as a parent to ensure your children know the difference between Stress and Skunk. But if you are having trouble giving your kids "The Weed Talk," relax. Twist one up, sit on down, and watch this helpful PSA from High Times. [Laughing Squid]

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DISCUSSION

That's some good advice. Basically if you don't traffic in marijuana, you don't drive around with it in your car and you don't smoke in public, you're not going to get arrested for possession alone. As a black man I'm especially sensitive to the crime of Driving While Black, but there are certain realities that we have to deal with even as we work to change them. Having cool purple ground effects and flashy lights on your car with enamel melting bass may look cool to some, but to the police it's basically "Here! Over here! look at me! Find some probable cause!" This is a poor type of car to have weed ANYWHERE near- but mostly people who transport small amounts of pot in airtight containers in places that are not accessible to the passenger compartment only get in trouble if there is a separate independent reason that give the police probable cause to search, or if they are just dicks, or if the police are dicks, or a combination of all three. The other fun way that people get caught are those people who choose to have grow rooms but also choose to have burglar alarms- alarm drops, police and/or fire respond, and the magic happens.... It's hard to argue "personal use" when you've got a dozen phenotypes among 100 plants growing in a room in the basement. In any event, common sense is your best friend. Minor possession of marijuana is such a trivial offense in my jurisdiction that the police don't really want to even be bothered with it. Don't give them a reason to and they'll leave you alone for the most part.