Still haven’t found gifts for all your loved ones? This week’s
DVDs and Blu-ray releases are here to help. You’ll find plenty of last-minute
gift ideas, that range all the way from Matt Damon in a cybersuit to Bronies!
• Elysium
In the future, rich people really, really hate poor people,
and Matt Damon tries to break into the rich people’s space station to save his
kids and, to a lesser extent, the world. The extras are mostly divided between
the DVD and the Blu-ray, so if you want them all, you have to buy the combo
pack.
A.k.a. Kick Harder.
A group of new heroes join Kick-Ass and Hit-Girl, but the Crimson Mist returns
with his own group of supervillains. Comes with your standard array of extras.
The scifi classic gets 3d-ized. To be honest, you haven’t
lived until you’ve seen Jesse Ventura’s “Sexual tyrannosaurs” speech in 3D.
The three Indiana
Jones movies will be re-released tomorrow for people who need quick gifts
with very little thought behind them.
• Percy
Jackson: Sea of Monsters
Percy and pals quest for the Golden Fleece in this movie you
long ago decided whether or not to give a shit about.
More like The Groan
Ranger, amirite? Huh? Huh? Oh, hush, it’s not like the movie deserves any
better.
An 18-year-old is surprised to discover his dad is an unholy
swamp beast, and he’s about toi become one too.
• Greek
Gods, Heroes & Monsters
The History Channel’s three-disc documentary on the tales of
Greek mythology, using period art, writings and archaological footage. Has
anyone seen it to tell us if it’s any good? I’m skeptical.
• Bronies:
The Extremely Unexpected Adult Fans of My Little Pony
Actr John de Lancie’s Kickstarted documentary about the
adult fans of Friendship Is Magic. As
fair a representation as Bronies are likely to get.
Jean-Claude Van Damme earns a paycheck for a brief cameo in this
terrible film that sounds like it should be a generic videogame from the early ’90s.
A cheap family movie designed to cash in on the massive
critical and commercial success of Cowboys
Vs. Aliens. I’m sure that worked out great for them.
