Why Apple's 'Geniuses' Feel Dumb

Illustration for article titled Why Apples Geniuses Feel Dumb

Apple Store employees are supposed to smartly guide your crucial, Apple related life decisions. But now some regret their own choice to take the company's underpaid retail jobs, and their hipster existential crisis could produce the trendiest union ever.


Meet Cory Moll, who just outed himself as the founder of the nascent Apple Retail Workers Union. The part time Apple Store employee told Reuters he wants to unionize his workplace because there are too many uncool things about the nation's hippest retail chain: "The core issues definitely involve compensation, pay, benefits." Moll, for example, makes just $14 an hour. Sure, that's pretty good by retail standards, but does it "push the human race forward?"

Now Moll just has to offer a better vision. We'd suggest a keynote — an amazing, incredible, great, awesome keynote, with some mind blowing demos, unbelievable pricing/dues, and maybe an appearance by Bono. Then tell everyone they won't be able to join your union for at least three months, but that you'll eventually take preorders from a select few. Those workers will be eating out of your hand.


[Photo via @NickyColman/Flickr]

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Unions are not really necessary in todays work environment. They did amazing things for workers back in the day. They saved lives, they achieved decent hours, and decent pay.

But the federal and state governments have mandated (through law usually) all of these things, and then some.

All that unions do now is make sure that the following can happen: I have a group of friends, who, with nothing but a high school diploma, got 20 dollars an hour doing unskilled labor in a car factory. Part time. Thanks to a union. As happy as I was for my friends, it was ridiculous (and they agreed, not that they were going to turn it down) that they were getting that money for unskilled labor with nothing past a high school education. No college, no trade school, no nothing.

We should respect unions for what they did in the past, but we shouldn't give them a free ticket to a ride on the gravy train for the rest of time. Now all they do is ensure ridiculous wages and benefits or make merit based hiring/firing practices (such as in public schools) impossible.