Your Packages Never Arrive Because UPS Employs Ninjas

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An eagerly anticipated package that never seems to come. Frustrating! You track it online, you wait diligently at home—and yet, all you get is a HEY SORRY WE MISSED YA notice. So that's how they pull it off.

This informative page from your carrier of choice's training manual clears it all up. You see, they just don't want to disturb you! Disturb you by giving you the thing that you want. That's so considerate—I feel much better about all those games and DVDs I bought that just vanished into the shipping ether. [Reddit]