A Plea To Humanity: Do Not Back This Fart-Tracking Wearable

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Kickstarter has brought us many wonderful things: the Pebble smartwatch; levitating light bulbs; RC pterodactyls. But one thing it absolutely does not need to bring to life is this fart-tracking wearable.

The premise of the CH4 (witty science joke alert) is pretty simple: clip the gaudy plastic box, approximately the size of one (1) Apple Watch to your butt, and it will detect when you fart, signalling that information to your smartphone. You then enter in what you’ve had to eat recently, and the app chews on the Big Data Dump to work out what food you should avoid:

The app comes with a dashboard that combines fart tracking with food habits. As you use the app longer, foods get correlated with gas production and the app identifies foods that you should avoid. Isn’t it awesome?!


[Emphasis entirely theirs]

At the time of writing, 8 people with access to an internet connection had decided that they are willing to part with $120 in return for having a small plastic box sniff their butt throughout the day. If you’d like to join them (and simultaneously prove that it’s time for this World Wide Web experiment to be shut the hell down), the Kickstarter link is right here.