Roger Marshall is an obstetrician and former captain in the Army Reserve who will begin his first term in the House representing Kansas’s first district starting today. Here he is being sworn in by Speaker Paul Ryan in the company of his family, most of whom are not total jabronis who hit weak-ass dabs during their dad’s swearing-in.
But then there’s his son. The one in the middle wearing the red pullover thing. (You couldn’t wear a suit like everyone else?) This kid took an important moment in his father’s career—possibly his proudest personal achievement other than maybe marrying his wife and watching the birth of all but one of his children—and decided spend the photo op hitting a weak-ass dab.
He held the pose (an internet culture phenomenon that peaked almost a full year ago) for so long, Speaker Ryan had tell him to “put your hand down” while physically moving his arm out of the way. Ryan asked, tactfully, “You gonna sneeze, is that it?” rather than saying what everyone in that room was thinking which was: wow kid. Your own father’s swearing-in to elected office. And you took this moment to hit a weak-ass dab.
What went wrong? How did the education system to thoroughly fail this goofus? Was his brain microwaved by Jill Stein’s wi-fi? Has the meme economy driven our nation’s children to stupidity? We’re counting on you to pave us a brighter future, Representative Marshall.
Update 1/2/17 6:01pm EST: Hope it was worth it kid, because according to your dad’s tweet, you’re grounded. We’ve reached out to Representative Marshall to learn of the duration of the grounding and will update if we hear back.
Update 1/13/17 11:59am EST: Because we are living in the darkest timeline, Paul Ryan explained to CNN today that he’s aware of dabbing and was critical of this young whippersnapper’s technique. The Speaker of the House of Representatives demonstrated his knowledge of popular teen culture by dabbing on national television.
Correction: An earlier version stated Representative Marshall would take office tomorrow. Nope! Today’s the day. Congratulations, Roger.