eBay Deal of the Day: Vampire Killing Kit

We may earn a commission from links on this page.

I would like to posit the following hypothesis: It is possible to multiply eBay posting length to the ratio of capital letters to lowercase letters in the post and thereby measure the relative strangeness of said poster. For example, this post is entirely in capital letters and goes on for pages. Based on our hypothesis, we would therefore align this poster with the "weirdest of the weird" on aforementioned spectrum. SPECIAL READER ASSIGNMENT: Write a perl script to asses the "Weirdness" score of a particular document. Usage: Supply the URL in the command line, strip out HTML, apply the forumla, and return a number. We will post it and you will become famous.

Otherwise, what you have here is a vampire killing kit complete with stakes, a few crosses, a bible "USED TO READ THE GOSPEL OVER CHILDRENS HEADS AS A REMEDY AGAINST ATTACKS AND ALSO FOR EXORCISM" and some glass vials for mixing potions and remedies. You could also dig through your neighbors trash for most of this stuff, but why bother when its all right here in an easy-to-carry case.

Extra points for the poster's strange assertion that there is "NO TATTOO HERE" in the post heading.