Hoverboards Make Us Fart A Little With Excitement

Illustration for article titled Hoverboards Make Us Fart A Little With Excitement

It is a well-known fact that if the hover board from Back to the Future ever floated into existence, geeks the World over would forget their sexual frustrations for at least seven weeks. Here is a run down of where we stand at the moment—the Hoverboard by Future Horizons and the Airboard by Alura Intelligent Products, modeled by the above hoverboard honeys.

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Illustration for article titled Hoverboards Make Us Fart A Little With Excitement

The Hoverboard (second picture) will not only keep you aloft a sweet three inches above the ground it will also burn a $9000 hole in your face, or anywhere else you keep your cash. The board can support a 250lb fat ass, up to a maximum speed of 20mph. Control is handled via a wired remote that handles rudder position, (for turning), and speed, (for fun).

An acceptable alternative, the Airboard will make you look like you are cruising on a vehicle from Wipeout. Unlike the lawnmower looking Hoverboard, general control here is achieved by weight transfer. Leaning back will make you go faster, whilst starting, stopping and turning are all also managed by throwing your mass about appropriately, much like on a skateboard. Purchase information is only available by contacting the manufacturer directly, at alura75413@aol.com.

While Adam waits for the real deal, we are hoping for a couple of review units, so we can sneak off to the half-pipe with that camera Apple sent us and make some completely ill movies of us pulling PHAT air board manoeuvres. We will then upload the said video to YouTube with that wicked Skater8oi track by Avril Lavigne. Adam will surly feel left out and cry like a sissy and we will look so enviably cool. Who are we kidding? Adam looks cooler standing still in a stripy t-shirt then we ever could flying about. Gosh, we do miss him on the weekend *sniff*. [Airboard, Hoverboard via Cool Hunting]

DISCUSSION

sneakerfiend-old
SneakerFiend

Well if i had $9k to blow i would certainly buy the hover board.

It looks cool and even tho @ 20mph it is a saftey hazard if you fall off and bust your face infront of many adoring Scarred fans you'll be a celebrity and one dumbass legend.

Looks cool and it probably could pick up more speed if equiped with a few more fans.

It'll probably pick up considerable speed from 2-3 super computer fans. (the biggest ones on the market)

The one with the models looks like it would take more speed because of the intake's. The one to the right actually does look like she's farting.