Iron Man Uses Dell Servers, Tony Stark Drinks Too Much Bourbon

Illustration for article titled Iron Man Uses Dell Servers, Tony Stark Drinks Too Much Bourbon

Here's a batch of 13 new images from the movie about the greatest gadget tinkerer and playboy of all time: Tony Stark, aka Iron Man. And while all of them are great and make our legs shake in anticipation, there's something wrong going on in there. Let's review:

Illustration for article titled Iron Man Uses Dell Servers, Tony Stark Drinks Too Much Bourbon
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Illustration for article titled Iron Man Uses Dell Servers, Tony Stark Drinks Too Much Bourbon
Illustration for article titled Iron Man Uses Dell Servers, Tony Stark Drinks Too Much Bourbon
Illustration for article titled Iron Man Uses Dell Servers, Tony Stark Drinks Too Much Bourbon
Illustration for article titled Iron Man Uses Dell Servers, Tony Stark Drinks Too Much Bourbon
Illustration for article titled Iron Man Uses Dell Servers, Tony Stark Drinks Too Much Bourbon
Illustration for article titled Iron Man Uses Dell Servers, Tony Stark Drinks Too Much Bourbon
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Illustration for article titled Iron Man Uses Dell Servers, Tony Stark Drinks Too Much Bourbon
Illustration for article titled Iron Man Uses Dell Servers, Tony Stark Drinks Too Much Bourbon
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Illustration for article titled Iron Man Uses Dell Servers, Tony Stark Drinks Too Much Bourbon
Illustration for article titled Iron Man Uses Dell Servers, Tony Stark Drinks Too Much Bourbon
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Illustration for article titled Iron Man Uses Dell Servers, Tony Stark Drinks Too Much Bourbon

• Same amazing armors as before, check.

• Random circuitry fiddling, check.

• Playboy sport supercars, check.

• One of said playboy sport supercars, a Cobra of all things, destroyed in goofy accident, check.

• $5,000 Armani suit, check.

• $7,000 Zegna leather jacket, check.

• Obligatory just-out-of-bed hot girl, naked in man's shirt, check.

• Obligatory hot-but-untouchable secretary for underlying sexual tension, check.

• Random casino gaming, check.

• Dell servers...

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Illustration for article titled Iron Man Uses Dell Servers, Tony Stark Drinks Too Much Bourbon

Dell servers?

Tony, Tony, Tony... really, you, me and the devil in the bottle go a long way back, but come on, off-the-shelf Dell servers? Where are the elegant supercomputers that any playboy should use? Where are the stunning mirrored-surfaced classified computers that only Stark Industries and Nick Fury would use? Even those punks from the X-Men have mind-blowing hardware. You can't have a friggin' flying armor and run it on commodity server racks, mate. Damn marketing.

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DISCUSSION

Yeah. What's up with Dell servers? He should have the kind that has a bunch of light bulbs in the front that goes *beep* *beep* *boop* and a spinning magneting tape reels.