Aspiring NASA astronauts have about a 0.6 percent chance of becoming candidates, and being considered usually requires an advanced degree in math, science, or engineering. But even among his select 14-person astronaut class, Colonel Fischer, who holds a Masters in Aeronautics and Astronautics from MIT, is the only one we can currently confirm sucks the balls.

Advertisement
Advertisement

We thank him for his dedication to humanity’s scientific endeavors.