Nerf's Summer 2014 Super Soakers: A Shootout in One Act

Nerf's latest round of Super Soakers blast water further and more accurately than ever when it's throwdown time, as you might expect. But we put them through their paces just in case.


Jalopnik honcho Matt Hardigree and I took these new Nerfs to a park in Brooklyn earlier this week to put them through the paces. (Spoiler: Matt volunteered as tribute to let us play a waterized William Tell with him). In our arsenal for were the new Nerf Rebelle Blue Crush Blaster, the Rebelle Dolphina Bow, the Tri Strike Crossbow, and the and the Hydrostorm Blaster.

Illustration for article titled Nerf's Summer 2014 Super Soakers: A Shootout in One Act

The waterguns come in different sizes and squirt configurations. The crossbow has two side flanks that pop out for two different ammo streams. The Hydrostorm is a battery-powered automatic water-filled gat. Oh and the Rebelles? We're going to ignore the gendered packaging they come in because although they might look like adorable toys for wimpy little girls, they're absolutely not that. The pink exterior conceals a 38-foot blast from a petite pistol and a big blast from the little bow. You're the Katniss of the public pool. Waterpark Lara Croft.

Probably the most battle-ready blaster was the Hydrostorm. You just pull the trigger and it sends a steady stream right into your opponent's face. (All in the name of good fun). The Crossbow, meanwhile, gives you the upper hand because you're not expecting the two extra streams pop-out bow. Honestly you can't go wrong; they're all going to get you drenched. Everything else is just a matter of style.


I'm sorry, but these new Super Soakers suck compared to what we had in the 90's