Nine Cycling Jerseys That Are Totally Unacceptable

The secret word is "novelty cycling jersey," (AHHHH!) and it's inspired by this incredible PeeWee Herman bike riding outfit that is amazing in that it simply exists. You know what else is great? The vast amount of ridiculously nerdy pop culture-inspired suits available on the ol' world wide web.

Spidey sense tingling? Nope. That's just a side effect of riding a bike all the time. The same company behind the PeeWee jersey, Podium, also has a Spiderman suit.

Image credit: Podium Cycling

You'll easily pick out the bike riding nerds, because they'll be the ones in the coordinated Star Trek Uniform.

Image credit: ThinkGeek

You don't need PEDs, because you can actually just have a Superman suit that you wear on your bike. JK, it's not going to make a difference, but go ahead and raise that comic book enthusiast banner, baby.

Image credit: Long's Cycle Supply

Sleighs are over. Next year, Santa rocks a Schwinn.

Image credit: Amazon

Haha! Are you a Speed Racer fan? Haha! Cycling has not forgotten you.

Image credit: Amazon

If you rock this America jersey, you are contractually obligated to get a sponsorship from Budweiser, outfit your bike with sparklers and bottle rockets, and have an electric guitar symphony follow you at all times. Support our troops. 9/11, never forget. Land of the Free.

Image credit: Amazon

Speaking of obligations, if you see someone wearing this Hipster get up, you are required to throw a big stick in front of their bike, douse them in lighter fluid and burn everything.

Image credit: Podium Cycling

It starts to get kind of weird with the creepy cycling leisure suit, an outfit choice usually reserved for bowling alleys and sad disco clubs.

Image credit: Amazon