Nine Cycling Jerseys That Are Totally Unacceptable

Illustration for article titled Nine Cycling Jerseys That Are Totally Unacceptable

The secret word is "novelty cycling jersey," (AHHHH!) and it's inspired by this incredible PeeWee Herman bike riding outfit that is amazing in that it simply exists. You know what else is great? The vast amount of ridiculously nerdy pop culture-inspired suits available on the ol' world wide web.

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Spidey sense tingling? Nope. That's just a side effect of riding a bike all the time. The same company behind the PeeWee jersey, Podium, also has a Spiderman suit.

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Image credit: Podium Cycling


You'll easily pick out the bike riding nerds, because they'll be the ones in the coordinated Star Trek Uniform.

Illustration for article titled Nine Cycling Jerseys That Are Totally Unacceptable


Image credit: ThinkGeek


You don't need PEDs, because you can actually just have a Superman suit that you wear on your bike. JK, it's not going to make a difference, but go ahead and raise that comic book enthusiast banner, baby.

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Image credit: Long's Cycle Supply


Sleighs are over. Next year, Santa rocks a Schwinn.

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Illustration for article titled Nine Cycling Jerseys That Are Totally Unacceptable


Image credit: Amazon


Haha! Are you a Speed Racer fan? Haha! Cycling has not forgotten you.

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Illustration for article titled Nine Cycling Jerseys That Are Totally Unacceptable


Image credit: Amazon


If you rock this America jersey, you are contractually obligated to get a sponsorship from Budweiser, outfit your bike with sparklers and bottle rockets, and have an electric guitar symphony follow you at all times. Support our troops. 9/11, never forget. Land of the Free.

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Illustration for article titled Nine Cycling Jerseys That Are Totally Unacceptable


Image credit: Amazon


Speaking of obligations, if you see someone wearing this Hipster get up, you are required to throw a big stick in front of their bike, douse them in lighter fluid and burn everything.

Illustration for article titled Nine Cycling Jerseys That Are Totally Unacceptable
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Image credit: Podium Cycling


It starts to get kind of weird with the creepy cycling leisure suit, an outfit choice usually reserved for bowling alleys and sad disco clubs.

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Illustration for article titled Nine Cycling Jerseys That Are Totally Unacceptable


Image credit: Amazon


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DISCUSSION

Meat suits:

http://muscleskinsuit.com/