No, Samsung, We Don't Need a Goddamn Fridge With a Screen, Baby Monitor and Evernote

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Samsung has presented a new awesome fridge, with a Ultra HD 4K LCD screen, a built-in Evernote app, and a baby monitor. All of those features are stupid, but only one of them isn't real.

The Samsung's new T9000 Four-Door Refrigerator is one of the many CES gadgets and appliances that have new features that nobody needs. Apparently, companies have run out of ideas, and are now just adding crap to existing products, hoping that something will stick—that some clueless idiot will look at it at Best Buy and think: "OMFG, a $1,000 microwave with YouTube!? I'm GETTING IT!"

Now, I'm sure the two-door, 32-cubic-feet capacity, $4,000 fridge is the dog's bollocks. It has something called Triple Cooling technology, which sounds great. According to Samsung, it "ensures that commercial grade humidity levels are maintained in the fresh food compartments with the help of two compressors, three evaporators and an array of sensors to keep produce fresher longer." That's nice! But any other comparable fridge by Amana or General Electric has similar stuff. And it is more or less the same stuff that Samsung's previous top-of-the-line fridge had.


Which is precisely why Samsung is adding this garbage that nobody needs, touting it on stage as the Second Coming of the Jesusfridge. The fridge has a large LCD touchscreen, they announce, which includes a calendar, because people can't look at their phones! And a weather app, because people can't look at their phones! And Evernote—the cloud-based note taking application that you may be using in your computer, smartphone or tablet—because all the family wants to publish notes to the fridge instead of quickly sticking a post-it to it! The fridge can also connect to a baby monitor to watch your baby sleeping while you are in the kitchen! Because it's not enough to hear the baby sleeping using a regular portable baby audio monitor. You have to actually look at the baby sleeping while you are making coffee. On your fridge.

It's a consumerism race to nowhere, a hurricane of stupidity that keeps sucking more and more resources in the name of a convenience that is not convenient anymore. Maybe I'm just a snob who just wants a fridge that keeps food cooled and makes good ice. Whatever. This fridge is the ultimate example of the imbecility in which companies and/or Western Civilization are submerged now.