Russian Special Forces Rations Include Brain Pâté, Among Other Things

Steve1989—who we previously watched eat a piece of actual civil war history—has a penchant for consuming rare and obscure military rations. Today he decided to scarf down several meals intended for the Spetsnaz (Russian special forces) for when those troops are traveling through mountains. It’s hearty. It’s weird. And there’s lots of it.

Mountaineering is hard work, so the 24-hour meal clocks in around 5,000 calories, and all of it is stuffed, IKEA-style, inside a packet not much bigger than an old-model Macbook.. Here’s what’s inside:

  • 60g sugar
  • antiseptic towelettes
  • five chocolate bars
  • water purification tablets
  • vitamins
  • two flameless ration heaters
  • nut and apricot bar
  • coffee and tea
  • apple jelly
  • minced sausage
  • beef porridge
  • beef goulash with potatoes
  • five packs of crackers
  • cherry drink mix
  • chocolate hazelnut spread
  • three packs muesli
  • pork liver pâté
  • pork brain pâté

Fucking hell.

And sorry to bury the lede there but, yeah, you read that right: pork brain pâté. I was under the impression brain was a delicacy of sorts. But there it is, highly stabilized and vacuum-sealed. All in all, Steve1989 had nothing but nice things to say about this ration and why shouldn’t he? He got to eat like a king and didn’t need to do any of the requisite mountain-climbing beforehand.


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Senior reporter. Tech + labor /// Keybase: Securedrop: http://gmg7jl25ony5g7ws.onion/

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Seneca the Younger(er)

Listening to this guy give gourmand-level reviews of military rations cracks me up. I’ve had packaged military meals from a lot of countries, and gone the better part of a year living on MREs two meals a day more than a few times in my life, and it was rarely a pleasure. It was subsistence. Even the Spanish shelf-stable meal I had working with NATO that had shrimp in red wine was pretty much just tolerable. My experience is that the dishes are named as if they are from a Michelin-starred restaurant, but they all taste mostly like glop. Nutritious, sustaining glop.