Simone Giertz's New Robot Is Her Shittiest Yet

The queen of shitty robots is back, apparently, with a hankering for a peanut butter sandwich.


Her most recent invention is a pair of robotic arms. One holds a plastic knife for peanut butter spreading, and another that a human operator moves to cue identical motions in the knifebot. The human puppeteering the second bot off-camera was Simone’s friend, Fiona. Giertz’s only job was to read the paper and look casual while the robot repeatedly covered her kitchen table in Planters.

Her previous projects generally accomplished their intended goals in extremely messy or roundabout ways. The sandwich robot, we can confidently say, was a failure. But under the rubric of hilarious malfunctions, it may well be her best yet.

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No wonder it didn’t work; she’s using Skippy. That stuff is an abomination, merely a distant allusion to the concept of actual peanut butter. The only peanut better worthy of the name is Jif. So let it be written, so let it be spread.