Spork Chops Are the Perfect Secret Agent Utensil for Those Who Suck At Using Chopsticks

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You're in a Japanese restaurant. Or a Chinese restaurant. Or a Korean restaurant. Or to avoid being racist, any restaurant that uses chopsticks as its main conduit for food. It smells so good! But you're sweating, your hands are shaking, you're starving because you can only get one rice morsel at a time with those damned wooden sticks. You try to hail down the waitress. She ignores you. You ask your friend if they can get you a fork. The music, the chatter, the noise of the restaurant screeches to a stop. Silence. A FORK!?

Asking for a fork at a place that favors chopsticks is embarrassing! And you feel so completely helpless. And though a Chork is the obvious lovechild to turn to in iffy fork-or-chopstick situations, maybe you're not ready to commit to the craft of learning the sticks of chop. Maybe you still believe a fork and spoon duo reigns supreme in utensil world. Maybe you need Spork Chops.


Spork Chops are awful and not unlike elongated, anorexicated salad tongs but that's making easy generalizations and completely missing the point. Instead, think of Spork Chops as covert utensils. Top secret. The tools of an international spy. Something you could pull out in Communist China that will draw no attention. It has a paper sleeve, It looks like chopsticks and hell, they'll think you're using chopsticks but you're actually using a two-pronged fork and spoon. No one will know the difference. Only you. Oh the food is so delicious when you can actually eat it. $4 [Spork Chops via The Green Head]