internet jail

Now Twitter Is Just Screwing With Us [Updated]

In the latest iOS update, Twitter killed the last feature that made the platform usable—the @-reply. Goodbye “don’t @ me,” hello “literally can’t @ me.” Your replies to someone’s tweets no longer factor into character count, which is good, but removing the @ all together makes your feed look confusing as hell. Shortly after Twitter…

Tech News Eve Peyser Dec 8

Judge Judy Plaintiff Wants You to Know She Doesn’t Mess With ‘Meemees’

For many of us, memes (both dank and otherwise) are one of the primary draws of going online, a small glimmer of light in the shadow universe that is the world wide web. This week, however, one Judge Judy plaintiff swore under penalty of TV perjury that she had nothing to do with memes—or, by…

Tech News Hudson Hongo Dec 7

Sad Reporters Celebrate Clinton’s Meaningless Twitter Victory

Hillary Clinton will not be the 45th president of the United States. She did, however, have the most shared political tweet this year. What does this mean for the American people? Nothing. Twitter is mostly for ISIS and media elites, anyways. But still, hope is valuable commodity these days, so sad reporters everywhere clung to…

Tech News Eve Peyser Dec 6

If You Want Him to Put Down the iPad, You Must Become the Pony

Each day, millions of parents try to limit their children’s screen time, but the allure of TVs and tablets seems almost impossible for some kids to resist. Thankfully, there’s now a solution to this daily struggle: You simply become The Pony. At least, that’s the argument made by the creators of “Pony Up Daddy,” a…

Tech News Hudson Hongo Dec 6

Find Someone Who Looks at You Like Mark Zuckerberg Looks at Vin Diesel

On Sunday, Mark Zuckerberg interviewed Vin Diesel on Facebook Live before they took the stage together at the Breakthrough Awards—Silicon Valley’s own sort of Nobel prize-Oscars hybrid, which gave $25 million to scientists this year. Clearly a fan, Zuck excitedly asked the action star about topics ranging from science to his tuxedo to Triple X,…

Social Media Eve Peyser Dec 5

Police: This Is How a Dog Wears Pants

Last year, the internet wondered how a dog might wear pants. We now have the answer, thanks to a dog found in Bellevue, Washington. The pup sported a green baseball sweater and pants on his hind legs. Police said the dog looked “very angry.” Maybe dogs don’t like pants. [Bellevue Police via Fox 8]

Tech News Eve Peyser Dec 4

Lisa From TSA Wants You to Pick Up Your Laptop, Thanks

In October and November, around 70 people left their laptops at a single airport security checkpoint at the Newark Airport. It’s not only the cheap stuff that’s gets abandoned—a fair amount of Macbooks are getting left behind as well. If 70 laptops get left behind at Newark Liberty Airport—the 15th busiest airport in the United…

Tech News Eve Peyser Dec 4

What Hath Bee Movie Wrought?

Bee Movie—Dreamworks’ 2007 animated cult classic that details the romance between a bee (Jerry Seinfeld) and a human woman (Renée Zellweger)—has long served as the inspiration behind the internet’s weirdest memes. Recently it’s paved the way for something that transcends Bee Movie—something absurd, an artful and heroic exercise of futility and devotion. Something notably hollow.…

Tech News Eve Peyser Dec 3

Marc Andreessen Never Left Twitter [Updated]

On September 24, famed venture capitalist Marc Andreessen departed from Twitter with a bang. Now it appears the Netscape founder never actually left. Even though Andreessen hasn’t been tweeting himself, he’s still engaging with the social media platform’s worst feature—other people’s accounts. Gizmodo investigated Andreessen’s recent “Likes” and damn, homeboy’s been busy. On that fateful…

Tech News Eve Peyser Nov 28

How Does Kenny G Tweet?

On the day after Black Friday—known to those in the industry as the slowest blogging day of the year—Kenny G did a legendary tweet. It depicts the famous saxophonist gazing directly into your soul, resting on his bicycle with confident masculinity, his arms crossed. “My hands are for one thing,” he proclaimed. “Playing sax.” Writing…

Tech News Eve Peyser Nov 26

TFW You’re Fcking Pssed Online But Afraid to Curse

One summer when I was 14, my friends and I walked to the distant corner of Long Island and screamed in an attempt to get rid of our pent up frustrations, you know, Garden State-style. Now thanks to social media, I get to do that every day online. This is both the beauty and the…

Tech News Eve Peyser Nov 26

The Democratic Party Needs to Stop Using Reaction Gifs

The Democrats lost the election, and now they’re just trying to pick up the pieces. The party’s current social media strategy is unfortunate—using reaction gifs to warn of the horror a Trump presidency might bring. Reaction gifs, Ashley Feinberg wrote Gizmodo in May, are for idiots: “Gifs are always going to be a little bit…

Tech News Eve Peyser Nov 25

Watch the Bee Movie Trailer, Except Every Word Is In Alphabetical Order

Here’s a better way to watch the Bee Movie trailer, with all the words in alphabetical order. What does this new video, made by YouTuber Spinny P, tell us about the secret messages embedded in Jerry Seinfeld’s cult classic? An approximate transcript of the video tells us everything we need to know. AaaaAaaAaaAAAAAaaaaaa. Barry, Barry,…

io9 Eve Peyser Nov 22

Sign Language Performances Make Every Eminem Song Better

The music of Eminem is extremely good, but do you know what’s better? Watching videos of people performing his songs in American Sign Language. These videos perfectly encapsulate the edginess of Eminem’s musical genius, while conveying important information to the hearing-impaired. This is the magic of YouTube. People confidently doing weird shit. I’m inspired. *hits…

Sploid Eve Peyser Nov 21

The Internet Has Us Very Worried About Dads

Google’s search predictions have us very concerned for dads. The company says it makes its search predictions based on “the terms you’re typing” and “what other people are searching for.” Google also considers your previous search history, but even in incognito mode (which would eliminate that variable) we can clearly see our nation of dads…

Tech News Eve Peyser Nov 21

Suicide Squad: The Extended Cut Is the Movie 2016 Deserves

Suicide Squad: The Extended Cut is the cinematic equivalent of a train wreck. Suicide Squad: The Extended Cut is the physical equivalent of a train wreck. Suicide Squad: The Extended Cut is 2016 in movie form. https://gizmodo.com/suicide-squads-getting-an-extended-edition-but-whats-b-1787444148 Suicide Squad: The Extended Cut is long. It is 13 minutes longer than the original. Suicide Squad: The Extended…

Movies Hudson Hongo Nov 20

Watch the Entire Bee Movie, Except Every Time They Say ‘Bee’ It Gets Faster

Bee Movie is an hour and 35 minutes long, but now you can watch the whole thing in a little over seven minutes. This is thanks to Avoid At All Costs, a YouTuber devoted to remixing Jerry Seinfeld’s cult classic. Here’s a fun game. Every time someone says the word “bee”—which happens 172 times throughout…

io9 Eve Peyser Nov 20

40,000 Definitely Real People Have Applied for Jobs on Donald Trump’s Broken Website

Speaking to Fox News on Thursday, RNC Chief Strategist Sean Spicer boasted that “almost 50,000″ people have submitted resumes to join the Donald Trump administration through his website. Whether all of those people are real, however, is far from certain. In order to fill some 4,000 presidential appointee positions, the President-elect’s transition team set up…

Tech News Hudson Hongo Nov 17

Facebook Asks the Big Questions

*hits the bong* Whoa. Makes you think.

Social Media Hudson Hongo Nov 15

Which Bad Election Meme Finally Broke You?

It was the pussy election. It was the Weird Twitter election. It was the nasty election. It was the meme election. We memed like we never had before, the nasty women, the white supremacist Pepes, the “epic Twitter clap backs.” In the primaries, the memes were lighthearted. We had Bernie vs. Hillary and Ted Cruz…

Tech News Eve Peyser Nov 14

Now Twitter Is Just Screwing With Us [Updated]

Judge Judy Plaintiff Wants You to Know She Doesn’t Mess With ‘Meemees’

Sad Reporters Celebrate Clinton’s Meaningless Twitter Victory

If You Want Him to Put Down the iPad, You Must Become the Pony