Weirdest Use of Spreadsheets I've Ever Heard

Illustration for article titled Weirdest Use of Spreadsheets I've Ever Heard

I was reading the feeds today and came across this "Intimacy Tracker" application for iPhone, a really ugly app that allows you to track your sexual life stats. The only good thing about it, however, was one of the reviews:

I have been keeping stats of my sex life for years using a spreadsheet. I love the idea that it has now been put into an app... giggity giggity. The added password was a good addition.


Keeping stats of your sex life using a spreadsheet? Like freaking (probably fantasy) football? I have nothing against hot private diaries or blogs, but come on, who the hell uses a spreadsheet for this? Does he/she hand score cards to the lover at the end of the date? Or does he—I've to assume it's a he, sorry—use stupid applications like Passion for iPhone? Is the reviewer Zoltan?

I don't want to know. [iTunes Store via Krapps]



Well, this people could probably just use one 3x5 note card to keep track of their sexual exploits.

"I have been keeping stats of my sex life for years..." and I am up to three entries!

Now, me, I have a three volume index just for the names of women I have slept with. I have a very specific 37 point grading system for each sexual conquest, which gives allows for excellent cosmograph data mapping.

For anyone who wishes to get a copy of "The Sexual Conquests of Zenpoet" you can contact Encyclopedia Britannica (they had to publish something big after the internet killed their business) at