Weirdest Use of Spreadsheets I've Ever Heard

Illustration for article titled Weirdest Use of Spreadsheets I've Ever Heard

I was reading the feeds today and came across this "Intimacy Tracker" application for iPhone, a really ugly app that allows you to track your sexual life stats. The only good thing about it, however, was one of the reviews:

I have been keeping stats of my sex life for years using a spreadsheet. I love the idea that it has now been put into an app... giggity giggity. The added password was a good addition.

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Keeping stats of your sex life using a spreadsheet? Like freaking (probably fantasy) football? I have nothing against hot private diaries or blogs, but come on, who the hell uses a spreadsheet for this? Does he/she hand score cards to the lover at the end of the date? Or does he—I've to assume it's a he, sorry—use stupid applications like Passion for iPhone? Is the reviewer Zoltan?

I don't want to know. [iTunes Store via Krapps]

DISCUSSION

zenpoet
zenpoet

Well, this people could probably just use one 3x5 note card to keep track of their sexual exploits.

"I have been keeping stats of my sex life for years..." and I am up to three entries!

Now, me, I have a three volume index just for the names of women I have slept with. I have a very specific 37 point grading system for each sexual conquest, which gives allows for excellent cosmograph data mapping.

For anyone who wishes to get a copy of "The Sexual Conquests of Zenpoet" you can contact Encyclopedia Britannica (they had to publish something big after the internet killed their business) at www.dontiwishitweretrue.com