Going into the 1970s, the word “fembot” starts becoming more popular, with The Bionic Woman featuring beautiful women whose faces fall off to reveal scary circuitry — the message being that a robot can appear female to hide a terrifying inhumanity. The Stepford Wives became a huge cultural icon, with the fantasy/nightmare of compliant, beautiful robot wives.

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But arguably, the 1980s saw a huge boom in sexy images of gynoids, with artist Hajime Soryama building a whole career out of shiny sleek robot women. Pinball games like The Machine: Bride of Pin-Bot played off that imagery as well. Movies started to feature more sexualized artificial women, including Cherry 2000 and Weird Science — some of whom are deadly, like Pris from Blade Runner and Eve in Eve of Destruction. Feminine robots have also become a staple of music videos.

In fact, a lot of pop culture representations of female A.I.s focuses on what happens when they turn deadly — which, to be fair, is the main story we tell about male A.I. as well. When a killer robot or computer is depicted as female, though, it’s often wrapped up in our anxieties about femininity — she’s a femme fatale (Battlestar Galactica, a ball-busting crazy woman (Eve of Destruction or a smothering, disappointed mother (GladOS in Portal).

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Some female A.I.s are coded as mothers or secretaries, whose femaleness denotes that they’re helpful and non-threatening. (And yet, when the U.S.S. Enterprise’s computer first acquires a pronounced female identity, in “Tomorrow is Yesterday,” this causes the entire ship to break down because the irrational femme computer won’t simply obey orders.)

But some novels have done a better job of exploring the subjectivity of artificial intelligences that appear female — Virtual Girl by Amy Thompson is very careful to show that when its main character gets a body, she views it as a “peripheral,” no different in principle than a keyboard, camera or printer. Also, some anime and manga representations of robot girls and women have done a lot more to show the complexity of their experiences.

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In Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, the Terminator called Cameron seems to have a real identity linked to the body she’s wearing — she “remembers” the life of her human self, Allison from Palmdale, and wants to practice ballet dancing. When she develops a sexualized relationship with John Connor, including one scene where he repairs her and it looks like a sex scene, it’s not clear what this signifies to her, or whether she’s just trying to maintain control over him.

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In the Avengers comics, the robot villain Ultron randomly decides to become female — taking on the appearance of Ultron’s long-time obsession Janet Van Dyne, and suddenly sports outrageous breasts and a sexy persona. (Don’t expect this storyline to make an appearance in Avengers: Age of Ultron.)

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Probably the most influential recent portrayal of A.I. with female characteristics, though, is Her, which plays on all our fantasies/insecurities about Cortana, Siri and other real-life mother/lover/helper voices that we hear through our mobile devices. In Her, Scarlet Johansson seems to have a passionate love for Joaquin Phoenix, even having phone sex with him and trying to acquire a flesh-and-blood surrogate. (And meanwhile, she manages his career, getting his book published and organizing his life.) But in the end, she transcends that level of intimacy for something more alien.

But meanwhile, Person of Interest has pushed the examination of gender in a really interesting direction — everybody refers to the Machine, the all-seeing, privacy-invasive supercomputer, as “it.” Except for the fanatical hacker Root, who insists on using the female pronoun for the Machine, while also ascribing godhood to it.

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But one of the most poignant and revealing representations of our relations with non-humans is Lars and the Real Girl, a movie in which a man falls in love with a more or less inanimate sex doll, and his family and friends decide to go along with it. Here, there’s no question about how the doll views their relationship — it’s clearly just about humans projecting their own emotions, desires and insecurities onto an artificially constructed body. And what’s fascinating about Lars and the Real Girl is how closely it resembles pop culture depictions of sentient artificial beings.

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Going back to Ex Machina, one of the most fascinating things in the movie is the way that it explores the Uncanny Valleythat space where an artificial person becomes more lifelike, but still not perfect, and starts to seem like a walking corpse. There’s something not quite right about Ava, and the moments when she’s most seductive are also the ones where she peels back her skin to reveal her artificial insides. This conflation of sexuality and creepiness reaches a kind of climax, when we see naked female bodies hanging like meat in a closet. To the extent that the sexiness of female robots is linked to their shiny artificiality, the idea of actual sexual contact with one begins to feel like necrophilia.

So once you accept that an artificial mind would probably have no need for gender, except as a means to connect with humans on our own terms, then all of our stories about female robots and A.I.s start to feel like cautionary tales about the danger of projecting our own insecurities and emotions onto a vessel that cannot, or will not, share them.

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Note: This article was heavily influenced by a panel I took part in at Worldcon last year on “The Gendered AI.” Thanks to all the participants and audience members who raised fascinating points.

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Contact the author at charliejane@io9.com.