Sunday marks the end of Daylight Savings Time. What does this mean? It means things are about to get really, really dark.
For those blissfully unaware, a long time ago, Benjamin Franklin told us we needed to change the clocks in the summer (or was it the winter?) because of Parisian farmers who were thirsting for daylight, or something. (Who cares?) Basically, what happened is that now American winters are very dark and American summers are very bright. This, in a sense, illustrates American extremism. We want it the most, always.
How do we cope with the dark winter upon us? If only we could hibernate like bears to escape seasonal affective disorder’s cold, hard grasp.
Be with your loved ones. Drink milk enriched with Vitamin D. Sex or masturbation is surely necessary; gotta keep the fluids in motion. When the sun peaks out, run outside and savor it. Build a fire inside of your home even if you don’t have a fireplace. Get in touch with a more spiritual side of yourself. Read a fucking book. Go on a digital detox so you can remember why your baby smartphone is your soulmate. Wrap your naked body in Christmas lights and shine like the diva you were born to be. After all, wearable tech is the future.
Buckle in for the wildest Gizmodo nights to come. Spend your days yearning for light. Or fuck the establishment and don’t switch your damn clocks. You hold the key to the future.