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Open Channel: What's the Trump Tweet Gonna Be?

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Photo: Saul Loeb/AFP (Getty Images)

Early Friday morning, the president—or some anonymous White House goon, it’s not always clear which—tweeted that he and the First Lady have tested positive for the novel coronavirus estimated to have infected at least 2.2 percent of the population and killed at least 208,000 Americans on his watch. This is more or less like if right in the middle of Nero fiddling while Rome burned, his toga caught fire.

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There’s been nary a peep from @realDonaldTrump since, let alone any kind of visual evidence or news of his condition, beyond assurances that the president is only exhibiting minor symptoms and doing great. (The only real update has been that White House staff and other political figures who have been in his presence are reportedly getting sick in droves.)

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It’s unusual for his preferred online avatar to be quiet for this long and so, in our impatience, we took a few stabs at what kind of insights the president might have in store for the nation:

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Screenshot: faketrumptweet.com (Other)
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Screenshot: faketrumptweet.com (Other)
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Screenshot: faketrumptweet.com (Other)
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Screenshot: faketrumptweet.com (Other)
Illustration for article titled Open Channel: Whats the Trump Tweet Gonna Be?
Screenshot: faketrumptweet.com (Other)
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What do you think the president is preparing to spit out? Wildly speculate in the comments below.

"... An upperclassman who had been researching terrorist groups online." - Washington Post

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DISCUSSION

giantrobotpilot
GiantRobotPilot

Oh I see we’re back to it being “COVID-19.” It’s not the “China Virus” anymore, is it Donald?