Ruin Christmas Early With Scientifically Accurate Santa

What's that you say? Santa's existence is actually impossible? Sure you may have heard some of these facts stated before, but never this musically—or with this much absurd animation.

Sorry to steal your joy, but the big man would have to travel 3,000 times the speed of sound to reach every child in the world. Also the weight of all the toys he'd have to carry (300,000 tons or more) would create a meteor, among other bleak realities. What we're saying is what we already know—Santa must rely on magic to do his thing. Science, you're such an asshole sometimes. [YouTube]

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This doesn't address all of the seeming scientific impossibilities regarding Santa. Ergo, this must mean it is safe to assume that those unaddressed impossibilities are all things that are true about Santa, right? So, if we agree that Santa can accomplish some scientifically impossible or implausible things, why can't he accomplish others, including the ones discussed in this video?

The power of a child's mind to rationalize away obvious and inconvenient truths is mind boggling, but some adults aren't too far behind them. Some adults are so good at it that they even try to rationalize away the obvious fact that Santa Claus is real, probably because if he is real then that means that their parents were right when they told them that they were terrible little children who didn't deserve Christmas gifts.

We shouldn't be mad at these poor & ignorant souls who made this video, we should pity them.