​The 11 Most Bizarre Frankenstein Monsters Ever Created

Illustration for article titled ​The 11 Most Bizarre Frankenstein Monsters Ever Created

Since the beginning of time, man has sought the ability to create life by means other than hot, hot sex. Those who have achieved this goal have generally been named Frankenstein, and their experiments have mostly resulted in monsters (advantage: hot, hot sex). But sometimes these creations aren't evil, they're just bizarre — here are almost a dozen who put the "mad" in "mad science."


Before we start, let me clarify what constitutes a Frankenstein monster for this list: it must be made of parts of deceased flesh and it must be made through science, and it cannot involve robotics. No cyborgs or clones allowed.

1) Edward Scissorhands

Let's begin with the odder of Tim Burton's two Franken-movies. Vincent Price creates himself a young companion but dies before he can give Edward proper hands. How he had enough time to outfit Edward with dozens of scissor-fingers he can operate manually but not regular hands is a bit of a mystery, as is what if anything Price planned to do about Edward's unfortunate hair (because I'm pretty sure it wasn't finished either). Either way, according to the movie Edward has spent the last 60 years in total isolation in the ruins of the scientist's creepy house, so he has bigger problems to worry about.

Illustration for article titled ​The 11 Most Bizarre Frankenstein Monsters Ever Created

2) Thomas Wayne, Castle of the Bat

One of DC's most insane Elseworld comics (which is saying something). After his parents are killed by a thug, 19th century Bruce Wayne decides to become a doctor like his father, determined to restore his parents to life. He starts by creating a Bat-hound, i.e. a dog with sonar built in. Eventually he recreates his dad Thomas, using his original brain, which was preserved and given to Bruce's university. For various reasons, Bruce puts his dad's reanimated body in a Batman costume, and Thomas goes out and starts beating up criminals and trying to solve his murder. And he also starts turning into a giant anthropomorphic bat, because why not.

Illustration for article titled ​The 11 Most Bizarre Frankenstein Monsters Ever Created

3) Frankie Stein, Monster High

Creating a teenage girl out of corpses sounds like the recipe for an arrest for necrophiliac sex offender conviction, but luckily, Monster High cartoon star and purchasable doll Miss Frankie Stein was created by her two happily married parents because they wanted a child. Here's what I think is weird: I can get not wanting to deal with diapers and potty-training, but why go straight to the teenage girl? Why immediately head into the hassle of hormones and drama and boys? The Steins might not have created their daughter for their sex games, but there's still something sinister going on here.

4) Venturestein, The Venture Bros.

This former minion of the Monarch was killed by Brock during one of his rampages. Dr. Venture's initial plan is to use him as menial labor, but quickly decides to sell him to the military as an expendable soldier — one that can be packed with explosives and told to self-destruct. Venturestein is sent to a South American dictatorship but refuses his orders, learns Marxist doctrine, and travels around to all the labs of mad scientists hiding in South America, collecting their monsters and forming their own "Abomi-Nation." It's not in the 50 of weirdest things to happen on The Venture Bros.

Illustration for article titled ​The 11 Most Bizarre Frankenstein Monsters Ever Created

5) Fran Madaraki, Franken Fran

Created by the scientist Dr. Madaraki — you might be able to tell by the two enormous bolts on the side of her head — Fran is an excellent scientist in her own right with the ability to raise the dead and create new creatures out of dead flesh and tissue. However, she doesn't really have any aesthetic sense, so she tends to create horrible, Xenobite-esque monstrosities that she has no idea are visual abominations, which is kind of a bummer when you come to her looking for a little cosmetic surgery.

6) Boltz, My Babysitter's a Vampire

In this episode of the Canadian kids series titled "Jockenstein," Coach Steinerhas takes a pile of limbs and body parts to create the greatest high school hockey player in… wherever the hell My Babysitter's a Vampire is supposed to be set. Grave-robbing and stealing dead people's limbs — not to mention attempting to steal the brain of main character Ethan — seems like a lot of work just to win the state hockey championship, but to each his own.


7) Deucalion, Dean Koontz's Frankenstein Series

Dean Koontz's five-volume Frankenstein books series is kind of insane. So, it starts out like the original novel, Doc creates the monster, monster kills his wife, they hate each other. But in this book, Dr. Frankenstein puts a bomb in the monster's head, which doesn't kill it, just scars half of his face. Both survive for hundreds of years, but while the monster starts pretentiously calling himself Deucalion (Prometheus' son in Greek mythology) and looking for redemption, Dr. F decides his "new race" of synthetic people should replace all the old ones and basically tries to kill the human race. Deucalion, of course, tries to stop him with some local New Orleans cops, because he was programmed not to hurt his creator (back in the 1800s). Oh, and Deucalion can teleport and make small things like coins disappear, because he's so smart, you see.

8) Frankenstein's Monster, Super Friends

Honestly, when the Super Friends met Frankenstein and his monster in "The Super Friends Meet Frankenstein," the monster is quite traditional, with green skin, flat head, and bolts on his neck. What makes this monster so unusual is that Dr. Frankenstein strikes Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman and the monster with lightning simultaneously, which gives the monster all of their powers — by which I mean the monster gets Superman's outfit, Batman's cowl and Wonder Woman's lasso, by which I mean the lightning makes duplicates. Also, I assume the lightning gives the monster a fat bank account, because I have no idea what other powers he could have received from Batman.

9) Frankenstein, Frankenstein Conquers the World

To be fair, the Frankenstein of the American-Japanese movie co-production wasn't built as much as Nazis found the Frankenstein monsters heart in World War II and shipped it to their pals the Japanese, where scientists studied it at Hiroshima until America dropped the bomb on them. This caused the monster's heart to turn into a young boy who lived in the radioactive ruins, until he's found in the '60s, given protein, and turns into a giant, brutish monster, which is pretty lucky because another giant monster named Barugon pops up at about the same time, and Frankenstein (that's what the movie calls him, chill) is around to fight it.


10) The Monster, The Frankenstein Papers

Fred Saberhagen's novel picks up where Mary Shelley's Frankenstein ends, as the monster starts a world tour that involves him meeting Benjamin Franklin and having sex. It may not seem weird until you get to the final chapter, which was written aboard a flying saucer because the monster was actually an alien with amnesia that Dr. Frankenstein somehow how thought he had raised from the dead. So yeah, I'd say that's pretty weird.

11) Shaggy, "Mad Professor" by Insane Clown Posse

You might have thought that the duo known as the Insane Clown Posse were begotten by an angry god trying to punish us for our sins, but apparently not. According to this video — and I use that term very loosely, Violent J was a clown-faced murderer/masturbator/scientist who wanted a "homie" and thus assembled his partner Shaggy out of the parts he collected his victims. WARNING: Do not watch the above music video unless you need a new definition for the word "wretchedness."




In the game Dragon Age II one of the most disturbing quests involved a necromancer who was trying to recreate his deceased wife by killing people who similar body parts and trying to reconstruct a Frankenstien-like recreation of her. Unfortunately your characters own mother has been killed and made the face of the abomination and you are forced to kill her.

What made this extra creepy for me is that it just happened to be Mother's Day a few years back when I played through the final part of this quest!