The Greatest Scenes Where Epic Heroes Ask a Random Priest for Advice

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Of all the random bits in Man of Steel, one of the randomest was the scene where Supes asks a man of the cloth what a man of the cape should do. In fact, the "Ask a Priest" scene is a staple of science fiction and fantasy. Here are our favorite moments where someone consults a priest, and gets some mostly nonsensical advice.


Oh, and there are no scenes from exorcist movies here — because of course in an exorcist movie, they're going to consult a priest. That sort of goes with the territory.

Curse of the Werewolf

If your kid is a werewolf, don't ask a priest what to do about it. Because the priest will just spin a huge amount of BS about how there are elemental animal spirits and they can get inside people with weak souls — so if you become a werewolf, it's because your soul is weak, and you should feel bad. Also, the key to curing lycanthrope is love, or something. This is probably my favorite "priest gives random advice" moment of all.


Sandra Bullock has become unstuck in time, so she's seen her husband die and yet he's still alive. (This happens towards the start of the movie, so it's not much of a spoiler.) And the temporal dislocation gets more and more confusing — so of course, she goes to a church for answers, because Doc Brown wasn't available. The priest basically opens a giant book full of stories about people who became unstuck in time, and explains that it's all about reconnecting with love, and believing in something bigger than yourself. Also, don't get burned as a witch.


When Rose Byrne's kid is astral projecting and getting tangled up with supernatural forces, one of the first things she does is to invite a priest over. All we really get to hear him say to her is, "blah blah faith, blah blah trust." Literally, that's it — I think those were the lines of dialogue he was given. He tries to convey a lot more using hand motions, but it's kind of a lost cause.


In this deleted scene from what generally seems to be regarded as M. Night Shyamalan's last great film, David goes to a priest for advice about the fact that he's the only one to survive the train wreck. The priest decides that it's a good thing that David isn't religious, and then he says the whole thing was "luck, random, without meaning." Nothing means anything. And David shouldn't think he was chosen or anything, because then he's just like pissing on all the people who didn't happen to survive. Have a nice day!

Soylent Green

This one's sort of an edge case — Simonson confessed to a priest before he died, and revealed "the truth," and it freaked out the priest so much that he's basically catatonic. So when Charlton Heston shows up to ask the priest for the truth, he can only mumble weird platitudes and stuff.


Daredevil goes to confession, but the priest won't give him absolution because he's not actually sorry and he's going to keep pursuing justice. So the priest decides he might as well just make fun of Daredevil's admittedly silly pleather outfit.

Punisher War Zone

In a similar sort of scene, Frank Castle goes to see his old seminary buddy, a priest who gives him a talking to about the whole "eye for an eye" thing and the fact that God doesn't hold with people judging each other and stuff. The priest quotes from the Bible, to the effect that Frank will be dealt with exactly the same way he's dealing with others. Frank is okay with that. Oh, and I love the super neon church this guy preaches out of.


A priest shows up at Ellie's father's funeral, and says that — contrary to what the priest in Unbreakable might think — things happen for a reason, and we just don't always know what that is. But we have to accept God's will, yadda yadda.

Illustration for article titled The Greatest Scenes Where Epic Heroes Ask a Random Priest for Advice

Empire of Ivory by Naomi Novik

In this section, Laurence asks Father Erasmus rather awesomely if dragons are subject to the doctrine of Original Sin, and Erasmus gives it some serious consideration before deciding they aren't. Good to know!

Resident Evil: Apocalypse

Just like you probably shouldn't ask a priest for advice about werewolves or becoming unstuck in time, you also probably shouldn't hang out with priests during the zombie apocalypse. At least, judging from one deleted scene, in which the priest who's been holed in the church with his sick sister (who eventually eats his face) tries to preach to Jill, Peyton and Terri that the zombies are the Lord's way of dealing with sinners. (Skip to about 2:59 in the video above.)

The X-Files: I Want to Believe

Scully barges in on the pedophile priest, Father Joe, and demands to understand about his visions and why he told her not to give up — and it turns into a sort of free-ranging discussion of faith and why God is such a jerk and stuff. This, in turn, leads to Father Joe having a seizure.

Spider-Man 3

Tossing this in just because it's bonkers. Eddie Brock goes to church and asks Jesus to kill Peter Parker for him — there's no priest around to discuss this idea — and winds up becoming Venom as a result. Because God really does answer your prayers, I guess.


Dr Emilio Lizardo

How come no one ever asks a a rabbi or a mullah for advice?