The rat race is a war fought on domestic soil, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. And those of you who bravely march into corporate America every morning need to ensure you're properly equipped for your nine-to-five battle. A shiny pair of wingtips and a brown bag lunch will only get you to the front lines. For guaranteed victory you need more in your arsenal, like a fancy haircut, and Gerber's new Impromptu Tactical Pen.

The pen is backed by a lifetime guarantee, but you'll probably never actually need to call Gerber since its machined steel body—finished with a material called Cerakote for extra grip—can survive almost anything, including impossible deadlines. And should you ever find yourself needing to sign a TPS report in a downpour, you'll be happy you made this $62 investment since the Impromptu's ink cartridge can easily write in the rain.


But that's not all. Say you find yourself trapped in a seemingly unending board meeting, with your company's CEO blocking the only exit. When the Impromptu's pen is retracted it reveals a tempered steel glass breaker that can be used to bust open an escape route from any well-windowed office. It kind of makes your fancy Montblanc seem like taking a knife to a gunfight. [Gerber via Bless This Stuff]