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DC's Crisis Full Of Time-Travel And Pornographers

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Want to know what's coming up in DC's dystopic summer event Final Crisis? Everything you would want and more. Friday afternoon's Final Crisis Management panel gave us a very chatty Grant Morrison, Dan Didio, Geoff Johns and other creators who were very willing to tell you what to expect before the end of the series - including the final fate of the multiverse, which New God comes up with amateur porn, and so much more. We've got some of the best quotes under the jump, but be warned: Spoilers await.

Morrison on Final Crisis:

I know where it goes, and we come up with the biggest idea ever to be done in superhero comics. I know where it goes, and it's fucking great. I know I'm not supposed to say that, because it says here 'Please do not swear, because there are people here under 18.' Folks, here's the thing: People under 18 have never heard swearing.


Greg Rucka on the plot of tie-in book Final Crisis: Resist:

The losers try not to die. And fail. It is 30 pages of, imagine if you were living in occupied France in WWII. Now imagine occupied France is the entire planet. Now imagine that the Nazis are New Gods. And now imagine that you are you. You're screwed.


Geoff Johns on what happens in Final Crisis: Legion of 3 Worlds:

Superboy Prime goes to the future and messes things up pretty bad. And the Legion recruits these other Legions to stop him, like the Zero Hour Legion and the original Legion. It's got a lot of Green Lantern stuff in it, it's got a lot of [Flash] stuff in it.

Johns again, this time on Final Crisis: Rage Of The Red Lanterns:

Rage of The Red Lanterns starts The Blackest Night. The Guardians have decided to execute Sinestro and the Red Lanterns want to make sure that they do it first.


Dan Didio on Barry Allen's return:

I think it brings the story full-circle. This is the final Crisis story, the fact of the matter is that, when these characters died, the writers and editors always found ways to bring Barry Allen back. The character was so strong that we felt that this was someone that people want to read about. This brings everything back around.


Morrison on the ultimate fate of the DC multiverse:

If you're going to do a crisis, you have to do a multiverse... I created a bunch of new worlds. Basically, in FC #6 and 7, Darkseid starts crashing everything in, and you'll see them then. The multiverse might be broken, but it'll be around afterwards. Did I spoil the end? Okay: The goodies win.


Morrison explains away all continuity problems to do with Final Crisis while also explaining what you'll see in the fourth issue of the series:

Darkseid was beaten in Death Of The New Gods and falls backwards through time, and as he falls backwards in time, he pulls the entire universe with him. So once he pulls New Earth with him, the entire multiverse collapses... So if you see any mistakes, that's that. When he falls backwards through time, it's the first time that Darkseid enters reality, his energy destroys everything. That's what's happening now.


Morrison on what happens with the New Gods post-Final Crisis:

Big plans for the New Gods. Nothing's cooler than Jack Kirby, but this is pretty cool... The ideas with the New Gods were just looking at what Kirby wanted to do and going back to that. Someone like DeSaad, a torture god. We thought, we'll give him more of a combover, and then we thought, sweaty, combover, what else? High heels! The thing is, he makes up Darkseid porn. DeSaad's just sitting there, putting Darkseid's head on sexy bodies and thinking "I don't want to be caught," but he really wants to be caught, you know?


Admit it; that last part sounds much more exciting than shapechanging aliens invading Earth, right?