Tales From the Crypt has found a home on streaming thanks to Shudder, meaning fans of anthology horror can now gorge themselves on the series inspired by the 1950s EC Comics that aired during HBO’s early days of original programming, circa 1989-1996.
Like many anthology series, the Tales From the Crypt stories are similar to certain episodes of The Twilight Zone, in which a naughty protagonist is suitably punished at the end of 30 minutes. But while The Twilight Zone had Rod Serling to make sure viewers understood each episode’s lesson, Tales From the Crypt hammered in the comeuppance with the campy, cackling, pun-spewing Crypt Keeper, a creepy puppet voiced by John Kassir.
Also like The Twilight Zone, the cast of Tales From the Crypt is peppered with many, many recognizable stars—some who were just starting out at the time and others who were at the height of their fame, as well as venerable character actors who’ll send you racing to IMDb to see where else you’ve seen them.
Shudder dropped Tales From the Crypt season one on May 1—it’s the shortest season by far, at just six episodes—with a new season coming each Friday through June 12. We’re welcoming this classic to streaming by ranking all the episodes in season one, though rest assured that all are as pleasingly mean-spirited as you remember them to be.
Here they are, presented from least favorite to most favorite. These episodes originally aired in June 1989.
6) “The Man Who Was Death”
The first-ever Tales From the Crypt episode was directed by Walter Hill (The Warriors, 48 Hrs.), who also co-wrote. It follows a prison executioner (William Sadler, whose extensive resume includes playing Death in two Bill & Ted movies) overly fond of his job flipping the switch on the electric chair. When the death penalty is outlawed, he turns vigilante, killing crooks he thinks have escaped justice.
Like most Tales From the Crypt episodes, the twist is pretty obvious, but “The Man Who Was Death” relies heavily on fourth-wall breaks, with Sadler’s character almost monologuing entirely to the audience. It’s a gimmick that wears out its welcome almost instantly and yet persists throughout.
The Crypt Keeper’s puns are top-notch groaners right out of the gate, though; he warns viewers, “This one’s a real shocker!” at the top of the story, then closes things out by reassuring us not to worry: “I’m sure he never knew watt hit him!”
5) “Only Sin Deep”
Lea Thompson (a big name in 1989 thanks to Back to the Future, SpaceCamp, Howard the Duck, and Some Kind of Wonderful) stars, and Howard Deutch (Thompson’s husband, who helmed Some Kind of Wonderful and Pretty in Pink) directs from a script by genre favorite Fred Dekker (Night of the Creeps, The Monster Squad). Thompson is cast against type as a tough but not especially street-smart sex worker who’s determined to hook up with a handsome yuppie.
Though she’s attractive and knows it (the character’s name is very on the nose: “Sylvia Vane”), she can’t thrust herself into his orbit unless she has the right fancy clothes. That’s why she eagerly agrees to a pawn shop owner’s offer of $10,000 if she’ll just, uh, submit to a life cast of her face and a little bit of black magic.
“Only Sin Deep” leans into some ‘80s clichés, especially its loose interpretation of “voodoo,” but its ghoulish flourishes almost rise to the level of Thompson’s scenery-devouring performance.
Sylvia’s gold-digger dreams come true, but when she conveniently forgets there’s a time limit on her bargain, things start to fall apart, literally. “If you want to sell yourself, take a look in the mirror first,” the Crypt Keeper advises before catching sight of his own reflection and reacting, “Ugh!”
4) “Lover Come Hack to Me”
From director Tom Holland (Fright Night, Child’s Play) and screenwriter Michael McDowell (Beetlejuice) comes what the Crypt Keeper promises as “a little ride to honeymoon hell.” The plot is pretty ludicrous (there’s more gold-digging involved in this one), but the level of payback is still extremely satisfying.
Amanda Plummer (who’s probably best-known for Pulp Fiction, but So I Married an Axe Murderer might be her most thematically relevant reference) stars as a newlywed whose hunky but sleazy husband (Stephen Shellen) is strictly attracted to her inheritance.
On their gothic-horror nightmare of a wedding night, however, he learns this is no ordinary family he’s married into, with generational weirdness already in motion to seal his doom. The plot doesn’t entirely fit together, and Plummer’s performance is as kooky as they come—but it’s a wild ride to get to the end. As the Crypt Keeper cautions us, “Beware of skeletons [in the closet]… unless they’re yours truly!”
3) “And All Through the House”
Fred Dekker gets another screenwriting credit, and Robert Zemeckis (Back to the Future, Death Becomes Her) directs this festive Tales From the Crypt treat favorite previously dramatized in the 1972 feature film, which saw a pre-Dynasty Joan Collins in the main role.
Here, it’s Mary Ellen Trainor (the mom from The Goonies) facing off with a killer Santa Claus (Larry Drake), an escaped mental patient (another classic ‘80s trope) who shows up on Christmas Eve just as she’s bumped off her husband.
Forgetting for a moment that “And All Through the House” explores yet another example of ill-fated gold-digging, it offers the most tension and terror in all of season one’s episodes—putting a Santa-believing kid in peril long before Art the Clown did it in Terrifier 3—though the frights do lean toward the goofy.
Still, it’s hard to argue with a maniacal Santa, and what a gift it is that this episode is now streaming so you can make it a holiday tradition. And of course the Crypt Keeper, who dusts off his own Santa suit for the occasion, pops in for the last word: “Be very careful what you axe for for Christmas; you might just get it!”
2) “Collection Completed”
Mary Lambert, whose Stephen King adaptation Pet Sematary released in April 1989, was the perfect choice to helm this episode, which was released not long after. The character-actor dream team of M. Emmet Walsh (Blade Runner, Blood Simple, Knives Out) and Audra Lindley (Mrs. Roper on Three’s Company) play a long-married couple whose compatibility issues come into sharp focus when he retires after decades as a workaholic.
Put simply, Jonas has barely been home for nearly 50 years, which means Anita has quite happily turned to her vast array of pets for companionship. He doesn’t realize at first just how much her life revolves around her animals.
The comedy (every channel a disgusted Jonas flips to is an animal show; Anita slips the aspirin he asks for into a brownie as if he’s a member of her menagerie) turns very dark when—instead of talking to his wife about his cranky reaction to all this—Jonas decides he’ll take up a hobby to fill his newly available free time: taxidermy.
You can guess how that goes once Anita’s pets start vanishing. Fear not, animal lovers; the comeuppance is as gruesome as it is cathartic. “I guess Jonas learned that a hobby can be very self-fulfilling as long as you’re not too stuffy about it,” the Crypt Keeper chuckles.
1) “Dig That Cat… He’s Real Gone”
This entry from director Richard Donner (The Goonies, Scrooged, Lethal Weapon) tops the list of season one Tales From the Crypt episodes, with most of the credit going to Joe Pantoliano—perfectly cast as a sideshow performer whose unique talent leads to his ruin.
Though he does some, uh, very bad stuff, he’s not really that deserving of punishment—at least compared to some of the other characters we meet throughout the series. He’s just a down-on-his-luck, not-especially-nice guy who suddenly becomes the luckiest person ever and quickly figures out how to exploit that. Too bad his talent isn’t limitless!
The episode is overall a hell of a lot of zany fun, as “Ulric the Undying” dazzles crowds with his ability to be killed onstage (drowned, shot, hanged… like, really and truly dead) and then miraculously resurrect. It almost calls to mind future X-Files episodes about “freak shows” and magicians whose illusions are seemingly too impossible to be true.
A mad scientist is involved, of course, as is yet another gold-digging subplot. Robert Wuhl (Batman) has a jolly supporting turn as Ulric’s promoter—who’s not above accepting “payola money from HBO” in a rare meta moment.
Season one of Tales From the Crypt is now streaming on Shudder, with new seasons arriving each Friday through June 12.
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