Steel Is Out On DVD! Our Pop Culture Heritage Is Secured!

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Shaquille O'Neal takes multiple gunshots to his metal-plated crotch from a whole gang of armed thugs, in this scene from the DC Comics movie you all tried to forget. "I'm about to smoke you like a blunt!"

Update: It seems there's a problem with the sound and video synching on that clip. Luckily, the whole movie appears to be on Youtube, and here's the relevant part:

You have no idea how long we've been searching for a copy of Steel on DVD. We almost got some of the really obscure extended cable channels just so we could catch an airing of this total classic. And it does not disappoint. O'Neal puts on his most robotic performance as John Henry Irons, a former weapons-maker who creates his own super-armor and super-hammer to fight crime. It takes a lot to make lines like, "It's on now" sound flubbed, but O'Neal manages it.

Did you know that Steel was written and directed by V/Alien Nation creator Kenneth Johnson? It's hard to imagine. It also features large supporting performances by Richard "I owe money to some leg-breakers" Roundtree, who at one point handles Steel's hammer and utters the phrase, "I like the SHAFT best." Also, that's really Annabeth Gish as the disabled tech whiz who helps Steel become so superheroic.


Gish gets disabled during an early weapons test which goes wrong due to the cartoon villain's interference. And afterwards, she's moping and feeling sorry for herself in the VA Hospital, where Steel comes to visit her. As he puts it, "shit just happens" and you have to deal with it. But then Steel decides to take her out of there — by breaking the windows, picking her up, and carrying her out of there while exclaiming that "Shit is happening to YOU!". And everyone in the VA Hospital cheers for the crazy man breaking windows and abducting people, instead of calling security.

But the best line of dialog in the whole thing probably comes from the main villain, addressing one of his gangsta friends who's helping to test out his Evil Lasers. At one point, he advises the gang-banger: "Eat the hot dog — don't be one." Words to live by.


Seriously, this is a DVD you will invite your friends over to watch at least once a year, and cherish for the rest of your lives. There are no extras, other than a movie trailer — but you don't need DVD extras with a movie this incredible. You're welcome!

You can buy it online exclusively via the Warner Archive.