Your body is probably still digesting yesterday’s fantastic feast (and bracing for leftovers) but it’s already time to start planning next year’s Thanksgiving dinner, and now that Kraft Foods has seemingly done the impossible and invented edible slime, grandma’s Jell-O salad will never be the same.
Not content with just re-engineering the classic Jell-O formula so that the dessert can be used to make jiggly toy building blocks, a team of food scientists hidden away somewhere in Kraft Foods’ secret laboratories asked a question no one has ever asked before: what if slime was edible? Now this is not to imply that slime has never been ingested before; there’s undoubtedly countless children who’ve sampled their gooey play toy out of curiosity, or to prove their playground bravado. But Jell-O’s new DIY slime—part of its recent ‘Play’ line—is completely edible without the risk of going blind or needing your stomach pumped after snacking.
Whipping up a batch is apparently as easy as just adding water to an included mix and stirring for 30 seconds, at which point you’ll be left with a brightly colored non-Newtonian fluid that you can squeeze, squish, massage, and tear with your hands for about an hour before you’ll need to add more water to keep it fluid. There will be two flavors available at launch: pink (unicorn-themed) strawberry and green (monster-themed) lime, but there’s no word on how much each container will cost when they hit stores next month.
So what’s in the slime? According to the listing on Amazon, it contains “modified food starch, sugar, gelatin, contains less than 2% of adipic acid, disodium phosphate, sodium citrate, artificial flavor, fumaric acid, red 40.” Nothing we haven’t seen in other highly-processed snacks before, and a distinct lack of real monster or unicorn ingredients, which some might find disappointing. But those people have obviously forgotten how to have fun with their food.